'Rapunzel' As Imagined by Jon Bon Jovi

Impenetrable towers are also slippery when wet

[Intro]

Once upon a time, not so long ago

[Verse 1]

A handsome prince went for a walk

Needs someone wifelike, he’s down on his luck

It’s tough, no muff

Rapunzel’s in a tower all day

Never had a man, she’s never got to make sweet love

Mmm, sweet love!

[Pre-Chorus]

She said ‘We gotta brainstorm, I have a thought

You should come on up here, it’ll be super hot

We’ll use my tresses but can’t get caught at love

Let’s make a wet spot!’

[Chorus]

Whoa, he took the dare

Whoa-oh, climbin’ up her hair!

No other way because there’s no stairs

Whoa-oh, probably an error!

[Verse 2]

But the prince wasn’t a jock

Now he’s discoverin’ scaling up sheer rock is tough

Ooh so tough

Should’ve got his gal to belay

When she sees his plight, the prince whispers

“This was a bad play

My bae!”

[Pre-chorus]

He couldn’t hold on like he thought

It might’ve made a difference if her hair was in knots

Won’t meet his lover, he’s in a tough spot for love

It all was for naught!

[Chorus]

Whoa, he’s halfway there

Whoa-oh, fallin’ through midair!

Final thought was there’s women elsewhere

Whoa-oh, dyin’ in despair!

Dyin’ in despair…

[Guitar solo]

*With apologies to Richie Sambora, Tico Torres, Alec John Such, David Bryan, and Jon Bon Jovi.